Pithy thoughts on the Project Runway premiere

The 4th season of Project Runway began last night, and while the cast doesn’t seem as strong as the previous seasons, the show still gets all angles right. For some reason I feel like I’ve already seen these 15 cats on that interior design show over the summer, but I might just be getting old. I can't even say some shit like "young people all look the same to me," because only two of these "rising designers" are younger than I am. Thank you Project Runway, for making me feel young again!

But anyway. I will say that Christian is, as predicted, a complete tool, and he lacks any and all bite to accompany his wanna-be sass. I think Kit Pistol has the goods to win the whole thing, though I can see Chris, the token overweight gay dude, battling out through Bryant Park. He seems to possess the spontaneous ingenuity that’s required on this crack TV show.

As far as the rest of the cast, Pixie made it known how much she hates the already-established Elisa, who while I'm trying to figure out if is fuckable or not, has already been already coated in Vogue’s glittery spooge. (Hearts Like Stars with the scoop!) Oh, her Wikiis here.

And I can’t get over how much Carmen looks like the dude from King’s X. The rest are a collection of pretty weak personalities and 8-ball-in-a-sock-smacked faces, though I suspect Jillian has some hidden bite beneath the Elaine Bennett demeanor. I already hate the dude from Chicago who looks like the singer from UB40, and wonder how long Marion the Florist will last when his nose starts to grow after discussing his sexuality.

So yeah, that’s pretty much what the premiere of Project Runway is all about – decoding the characters and finding their celebrity look-alikes (Kevin resembles Joey Fatone too much for me to take him seriously). Yes, I know they partook in a challenge, but most of the results actually made Milan's attire look desirable, with the exception of Kit Pistol's "I'm the new Jeffrey Yay!" cocktail dress.

What else did we learn... Ohh! In this upcoming season, the two big hooks are a surprise guest (either Santino, Jeffrey or Daniel V, I bet) and a "shocking" announcement, which is so obvious "the Real World’s" Pedro Zamora is blushing. (If dead people could blush.)

So hopefully soon, we’ll see which attitude emerges, since you know by now the producers are casting for conflict as much as stylistic results. But you can’t help but think that after three seasons of this, we have the same problem that soured "the Real World" by the time Season 4 hit London: All these designers have seen the show, and know the framework of the competition. We’re past the point where people "stop being polite and start getting real," and thankfully this show centers around talent and not chillaxin on the couch all day.

But Christian knows if he’s catty he’ll stick around even if he makes dresses as shitty as Simone’s. I’m not entirely sold on this group, but it’s up to him – and the rest of these interior designer cast-offs – to make it worth watching. Curiosity and reputation are good for a only a fortnight of attention.

And in the meantime, can someone get Michael Kors a new fucking wardrobe?