Thursday, July 31, 2008

New Wonderful Spells song posted

The Wonderful Spells, who have been in discussions to perform at the 6th annual pill Halloween show later this year (shhh!), have posted a teaser track from their new EP, which should be out shortly.

The song is called "Bad News Blues," and it's more catchy-as-fuck psychpop from the local melody-maker trio. This looks like it will be a worthy follow-up to last years sterling debut, "The Prophecy of Smarulous Rex," which launched a shit ton of pill shows and garnered much respect around the city. I think they're doing a free show on Saturday at the Alchemist in JP, but don't quote me on that. I'm not even sure Jamaica Plain actually exists.

Also, I decided against trading Dan Haren (and his rights until after 2010), so I'm deleting the previous post. If I don't have Derreck Lee and Joe Mauer to show for it, I'm not going to let the man who signs my paychecks see how I spend post-deadline afternoons.)

Wednesday, July 30, 2008

True North "Nut Sacks," part II

So yeah, I'm still a giggly schoolgirl over the True North Nut Snack nonsense, and am soliciting opinions on other commercial taglines that sound like one thing but say another. Free free to join in at Herald Online. (Blog within a blog within a blog within a blog.)

ITP: Apartment mess

As the lady and I searched for apartments this summer, one thing became painfully evident: People live like shit. We couldn't believe the state of many apartments that were shown to us, from seas of garbage obscuring the floor to mouse droppings growing into gremlins to widowed mattresses gettin' on by without need fo' no boxspring.

Realtors backed up my assumption that when people decide to move out, they let their living spaces go to shit. No need to even make an appointment to see the squalor in person. Look on Craigslist and other online sites.

(Note to self: Move out of Allston.)

Mr. Boston goes out with a bang

As any good ol' boy from eastern Massachusetts would have it, Mr. Boston didn't leave the "I Love Money" house quietly in February after the cameras shut down. The one and only Lee Marks posted a blog this morning, and well, here's what he had to say about Megan (who D-Listed once famously said had a face "made for cum"):

"I actually got sweet revenge on her that she doesn't know about until now! After the elimination, when I was packing my things....I jerked off into her bed and she had to sleep in it! (Plus the dog was loving the show I put on). Now take that you backstabbing bitch."

He also had a nice take on Brandi, her porn career and her gut, as well as 12 Pack's steroid use. Quite the read this morning! Good to see Mr. Boston is still bringing the goods.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Wait, an extraordinary...what?

Clearly the biggest commercial news of the year comes from True North nuts. Yes, I'm talking about the last few words. Yes, I am 6 years old.

Russia to outlaw "emo" and "goth" music, culture and style: kids now more sad

I always said that I was thankful I graduated high school before Columbine, because walking around in fishnets, makeup and shredded Skinny Puppy t-shirts was hard enough before Dylan Klebold and Eric Harris suddenly made "freak culture" a violent one.

But WTF City, this is just some next-level, 1984-type shit right here, and I'm thankful I'm too old to get all My Chemical Romance on Putin's rock-solid ass: Russia to outlaw emo.

Pouting, piercings and Pete Wentz may soon be illegal in Russia. The Russian government is in the process of drafting a law to make emo and goth music illegal, says the Moscow Times.

"State Duma deputies, Public Chamber members and social conservatives have hammered out legislation aimed at heading off the spread of emo culture, which they describe as a 'dangerous teen trend.'

Interestingly, when I was in St. Petersburg in 2004, I bought a bootleg HIM album (dont. fucking. ask.) from an underground subway stand. It's good to see there are no copyright laws in the motherland, but soon listening to the Sisters of Mercy are grounds for exile to Siberia. Dominion, indeed!

Monday, July 28, 2008

Passion Pit signs to Frenchkiss Records

The best local band to emerge in 2008, Passion Pit, has signed to Frenchkiss Records, home to Les Savy Fav and the Hold Steady. According to my column published today, here's what Paul Hanly of Frenchkiss had to say about the 'Pit:

“What really initially drew us to Passion Pit was how immediate the music was,” said Hanly. “Michael writes the kind of music that gets stuck in your head, and it never leaves, which is a good thing in this case. We were drawn to it, and this was only exemplified by how fun their live shows are.”

Agreed. I think the lady and I still deem "I've Got Your Number" as our cute little high-school relationship mixtape love song. Frenchkiss will re-release their debut EP in September, along with a new album next year. World domination is in short order.

Also in today's space: The Luxury pulled more than 5,000 online votes and won the "Open For Coldplay" contest. They'll hit the stage first on Aug. 4 at the TD Banknorth Garden. Really cool contest by FNX.

Goodbye Mr. Boston

So last night Acton's very own Lee "Mr. Boston" Marks got the boot from "I Love Money" after his scheme (well, 12 Pack's scheme) to deliberately lose a challenge blew up in his nose-pickin' face. Quite the bummer, as I truly <3'd the strange, teary-eyed Nerdtron, but it was too much to see him constantly harassed by the increasingly cartoonish Stallionaires and White Boy (Who I can't see going home until fall). It was clear Mr. Boston's time had come.

But frealz, what kind of world do we live in where Possum Queen Brandi C. sticks around, Rodeo gets bitchslapped by a frozen chicken and Destiney takes it on the arm (instead of the chin, for once), but Mr. Boston goes home? I'll have more to say about this in tomorrow's Boston Herald. We'll miss you, Boston.

Sunday, July 27, 2008

I Love Money straight bringin it

So as I wonder what in the name of D.A.B. happened to Miss Rap Supreme and realize that MTV’s From G’s to Gents is really just Charm School with a different kind of boob convention, it’s exciting to see VH-1’s cash cow collective, I Love Money, really starting to uh, "Heat" up.

Episode 4 rolls tonight at 9pm, where the teams compete in some sort of chicken tossing competition, immediately putting Pumkin’s well-being in jeopardy. So far, we’ve said goodbye to Midget Mac (episode 1) because he didn’t want his stumpy ass to wear a thong, then Obi-Wan Ka-Nibblez (episode 2) got tossed American Gladiator-style by Mr. Boston on the high-rise bed thingy, despite her use of a "Jedi mind trick" (which didn't have any effect on Lee Motherfucking Marks).

And last week, the lesser of the Party Boys, Heat, was shown the door in an hour-long mental and physical beat down. Adding insult to infidelity, Heat was bounced by the world’s last remaining home boy, Frank the Entertainer, who not only stole Destiney his woman in what should eventually lead to more prime time toe sucking, but also had the final say in kicking his ass off the show. The Entertainer could have gotten rid of one of the Brothers Stallionaires, Real or Chance, or even Whiteboy, which would have helped his team in the long run, but he let poon rule the day and ghosted his competition with the womenz, not with $250,000. Will it come back to haunt the Gold Team? Yes, I think so.

In other noteworthy news: Lone remaining Party Boy, 12 Pack, is proving Alpha Dog status with the ladies, banging it up with both –large-in-charge Heather and conniving cunt all-star Megan. Tonight, Mr. Boston is about to get dirty with Real, Chance and Whiteboy, and it does not look good for Acton’s famous son. And for Rodeo, well, "I love rock, I love country. That's why I wear my hat, that's why kids love me." It still holds up.

Also, no one knows why Pumkin and Brandi C are still around. And I still can’t get that image of Toastee’s pasty ass beaver out of my head.

Monday, July 21, 2008

Help out the Prids (car accident content)

Saw this bulletin earlier... Apparently the Prids, a great post-punk band out of Portland, Ore., were in a very serious car accident in Los Angeles recently. Please help if you can; these guys and gal are great people and a great band. I saw them a few summers ago at a house in Harvard Sq with Protokoll and others, and it was killah. Donate to the band, then buy their albums.

From the bulletin: Our friends (and labelmates) The Prids - David, Mistina, Joey and Maile - and two of their significant others - Kristin and Chris - were in a serious accident early Sunday evening while en route to Los Angeles on tour.

A tire blew and they lost control of the van and it rolled several times. David was airlifted from the scene of the crash, he suffered a broken collar bone, broken ribs and has 6 staples in his head and will be released from the hospital shortly. Everyone else was released last night. Chris broke his arm, and may have spinal injuries. Maile has a broken vertebra and toe and a severe cut with stitches on her knee. Joey broke ribs, Mistina suffered a concussion, and as far as I know Kristin is in similar shape. They are currently staying at a hotel in Fresno. Mistina and David *do not* have health insurance.

A special paypal account has been set up to help out and donate directly to The Prids. They need help getting home and paying their hospital bills. If you can't help out monetarily, please repost this info on your blogs, etc.

Thanks! You can send money using paypal directly to "".

Guest DJ set at the Jump-off

Even though I've been in bed all day puking and wet-shitting my brains out (Thanks, NE Aquarium?), I'm heading across the river at 10pm to guest DJ "The Jump-off," a free dance party at the Plough & Stars. It's a chill new monthly hosted by John Flax of the Perennials, so good times are in order. I'm spinning everything from Crystal Castles to Pulp to Toxic Avenger to the Only Ones. Just peep the dope flyer, which I'm sure was made just to fuck with me:

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Lola Worship, Vol. 23,567,895

Been a while, so... Taken in the past week or so at Le Barrows.

Heath Ledger's legendary Joker

I caught a screening of "The Dark Knight," at the Jordan's IMAX theatre last night. So while my story on the pitfalls of marketing a dead Heath Ledger appears in today's paper, I also whipped up a kinda off-the-cuff review, posted below. In short: Ledger lives up to all the hype, and should have an Oscar in the bag for this performance.


I was 10-years-old when Jack Nicholson took his PT Barnum routine to the legendary Joker character in Tim Burton’s “Batman.” I wore the toonish oversized t-shirt, had the pastel buttons on my Starter jacket and proudly went around saying things I didn’t really know the meaning behind, like “This town needs an enema.”

Nicholson was campy, a showman, a laughing (gas) sideshow that entertained and mocked and giggled and laughed as his perfectly-done makeup hid the alleged suffering and pain behind perhaps Batman’s greatest villain. He was comic drawn in Caesar Romero colors, a bright, vibrant adaptation not too far removed from the television show vision of the character. In explosions of purple, he was accessible to my 11-year-old brain. This boy needs an enema.

Now comes Heath Ledger in “The Dark Knight,” six-months dead from a dance with scripts and having since generated more posthumous Oscar buzz than any other actor that accidentally clocked out in advance.

Wait until Nicholson gets a load of him.

Ledger is maniacal, evil, half-cocked and fully-baked. His presence nothing short of captivating, his motives downright sinister and his self-told backstory of mutilation ever-shifting. He limps, he growls, and he laughs it up along a path of remarkable destruction, a kill tally mounting with every well-placed smear of his legendary makeup-scarred visage. And every time he’s off the screen, you can’t wait until he roars back, shotgun ripped and eyes piercing. Sometimes he’s hunchbacked, others he’s straight as a disappearing pencil. And in pretty much every shot, he’s devastatingly menacing.

Of course, his legend here is magnified exponentially by the stiff and often awkward performances of the cast around him. Bale left much of his passion and persona in 2005’s almost-flawless “Batman Begins,” and Maggie Gyllenhaal may be the ugliest, pooch-pandering leading lady in Hollywood. At least Katie Holmes was easy on the baby-blues. When the Joker crashes a swank Bruce Wayne party midway through this 2-and-a-half hour crime romp and refers to Mags as “this beautiful woman,” you know the motherfucker is legitimately Bat-shit.

No one else really brings much to the table here, with the possible exception of Aaron Eckhardt’s DA Harvey Dent. Morgan Freeman’s Lucius Fox blew his load in “Begins,” and even Michael Caine’s needed comic relief was sorely underused. The always gorgeous and because of his looks and nothing else, intriguing, Cillian Murphy, adds a head scratching cameo as the Scarecrow in the movie’s opening scenes, and Gary Oldman’s Chief/Commissioner Gordon tilt is standard fare.

All this really just adds up to one thing: Watching the Joker steal the show as easily as he does the mob’s police-stained loot. As overcooked as “The Dark Knight” may actually be, it’s a traditional summer movie blockbuster dinner augmented by a performance that, had Ledger been alive today, would have shot him into the upper echelon of Hollywood stardom. It’s easy to posthumously shower Ledger with accolades here, as we all love a Tragic Story straight out of the Hollywood Hills, but this shit is so legit, so terrifying, so entertaining and intriguing, the only sadness arrives upon learning that in answering Nicholson’s famous line, “Where does he get those wonderful toys,” we realize the answer may be Ledger’s personal medicine cabinet.

Did his addiction and or alleged abuse of prescription drugs help him play an affected, mentally unstable psychopath? Maybe, maybe not. But in the end, it proves that while there are no second acts in American life, there is room for absolute stardom in death.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Rock of Love 3: The Bus

Holy shit. I didn't think my day could get any better. First I scored two passes to see the Citizen Kane of superhero movies, "The Dark Knight," on motherfucking IMAX tonight at 7pm (But I have to go to Reading. Ew.). Then out of fucking nowhere, "Project Runway 5" debuts later at 10pm. Apparently there's someone named Suede. Maybe he can knit a decent pop song this decade.

But I digress... Now comes the news that ROCK OF LOVE 3 will air on VH1 next year!!! This is according to D-Listed, who I trust more than the NY Times, reporting that the show will air live from a tour bus as Bret drops off the losing hos at each tour stop. Look out Des Moines, a Daisy Chain for Satan your way comes. I'm all wet just thinking about it.

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

News of the Week: Sarah Silverman is single

Oh sweet Mary, Sarah Silverman is single. What a way to start the day.

From America's first couple of comedy, Jimmy Kimmel and Sarah Silverman, have ended their five year romance.

A representative for late night U.S. TV host Kimmel and the comedienne has confirmed the split, insisting it was mutual. Just five months ago the pair hit the headlines when their star-studded parody sketches for Kimmel's show, Jimmy Kimmel Live, became an Internet sensation.

Silverman's I'm F**king Matt Damon tune and video was followed by Kimmel's I'm F**king Ben Affleck. The videos featured a host of A-list stars including Brad Pitt, Harrison Ford, Robin Williams and Cameron Diaz.

Monday, July 14, 2008

New music blog: In the Shadowplay

In a room with a window in the corner, I found another music blog. But wait x3, this one comes from the creative mind of miss Kayley Kravitz, a dedicated pill-goer and certain lady who in my opinion can do or say no wrong, so check it out whenever the urge strikes. She knows her shit like few around her, and the inaugural debate on whether the Manics' Richie Edwards was the original emo kid proves much promise to come.

Reminder 2nite

So it's Monday, a horrible notion offset only by the fact that the Mae Shi are blowing into town tonight, with me on the synthpop and electro decks doing my schteez without regulation or limitation. Expect a dirtier mix of grimer proportions, from Lies in Disguise to DIM to Uffie to Toxic Avenger to Ocelot. Get crunked.

$8 at the door; get at me for guest list action. Oh, and the Death Set canceled, so ignore that. I'm too lazy to edit this fucker.

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Greatest music video ever? Gorbachov!

In Soviet Russia, you don't make music video. Music video make you! So really, combining old propaganda images with zombie flicks, all in the name of Mikhail Gorbachov, was just a matter of time. This is a Tom Stern-directed video for Russian metal band ANJ, and well, it's all sorts of amazing. Where was Manowar during all this?


From Stern: I did this video for a Russian Metal Band called ANJ. It is pretty crazy. When I saw the lyrics it seemed to be an earnest tribute to Mikael Gorbachov (that's how the Russians spell it), so I was a bit confounded about what the video concept should be, but then I had a brainstorm to take it way over the top and I think it was just the thing. Suffice to say it's half Russian History allegory as told through an old zombie movie made in the Soviet Union, and half animated Soviet Propaganda posters. It's in HD, so let it load a bit before you play it and then click the little "four arrows" symbol on the lower right part of the viewer to see it in true HD. BTW- the band has asked that I include their myspace address:

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

It's still 1993 in some parts of town

How could I forget to post this. Nothing says Tuesday night party on Lansdowne Street quite like the news that Green Jello-Jelly is playing Bill's Bar. Yes, *that* Green Jello. Tonight. In 2008. At $12 a pop.

Nice job, Boston. No wonder the Death Set cancelled their apparance next week.

Reading stripper reverses Sox curse

All this time, I thought it was pitching. I thought it was Schill's bloody sock. I thought it was the band of Idiots. Or Dave Roberts' steal. Or Keith Foulke's, uh, something. I thought it was -- it had to be -- Johnny Damon's caveman hair!

Nope, the 2004 Boston Red Sox were able to reverse the 86-year Curse of the Bambino thanks to a Reading stripper who fucked A-Rod twice in the '04 campaign.

"When A-Rod called her when he was in town for the American League Championship Series, Candice met him and they had sex again. Although this time he didn’t let her stay the night. 'He said he had a big game the next day. I like to say I helped us win,' she laughed. 'I reversed the curse!'"

There you have it. Take that, Millar.

Monday, July 7, 2008

Tony Gonzalez, hero of Chiefs and chefs

The Kansas City Chiefs' Tony Gonzalez prevented Kitty Genovese II as he saved a choking man's life in front of a full restaurant of people who couldn't be bothered to put down their tasty Capone's chicken parm. Mmmmmmmmm, chicken parm. So good.

“She was screaming, `He can’t breathe, he can’t breathe,”’ Gonzalez said by phone from California. “The whole restaurant was quiet. Nobody was doing anything. Then I saw he was turning blue. Everybody in the restaurant was just kind of sitting there wide-eyed.”

Faux paws

I'm still reeling over the wikkid ossum first episode of "I Love Money" last night (peace out Midget Mac!) so to calm my senses I'm going home to teach Lola how to eat her Fancy Feast with a spoon. WTF City.

Sunday, July 6, 2008

I Love Money premieres tonight!

I don't think I've actually written about it yet, but I've been counting down the days to the debut of the Reality Elimination Show To End All Reality Elimination Shows, VH-1's instant classic and pure Turkish Vanya black tar heroin, "I Love Money."

It's an narcisistic all-star game featuring the biggest train-wrecks from multiple seasons of "I Love New York", "Flavor of Love" and "Rock of Love". (Yo Tango and Lacey, where you at?!?).

Seriously, this shit was made for me and the Queen, and expect Vanyaland to morph into a running "I Love Money" commentary for the next twelve weeks. I've caught the premiere, where the 16 contestants create teams kickball-playground style and start the endless insanity. This shit will be worth the hype, and it's even more appealing if you know these characters from the previous shows.

VH1 did a great job bringing the best personalities back to the camera, but I don't think it took much prompting. Shit, they even brought Frank the Entertainer back! (Uh, peep upper right! Hide yo' toes!)

Mr. Boston, Brandi C., Real, Chance, Whiteboy... They're all back. Even Rodeo has returned, and you know, "I like rock. I like country. That's why I wear my hat. that's why kids love me." Yup, they brought her back for the children. Bret's children. Everyone's children.

Who will walk away with $250,000? My prediction is my boy 12 Pack, the more-than-meets-the-eye gay-tease beefcake of "I<3NY," or maybe even Hoops, the winner of "FoL" and only one of these misfits to actually win the original show s/he appeared on. As much as I adore Toastee from Flav, I don't think she's got the goodz. But even if 12 Pack doesn't win, apparently he tags both Heather RoL and the skankalicious Megan RoL2 during the competition. If only a quater-of-a-mil cured herpes.

9pm tonight, VH1. Casting special at 8. Life begins once again...

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Franki Chan hits Boston

Pretty cool shit going down tonight at the Roxy, as sick-as-shit LA-based electro DJ Franki Chan and d.n.b first lady Reid Speed bring the west coast dance party vibe to Boston.

Mad props to the blossoming FTW production crew for getting Chan out here. This shit will be nutty, and is a great way to start the 3-day holiday weekend. For the rookz, Chan is the mastermind behind IHEARTCOMIX, a multi-faced production company that houses a label (Protokoll, Toxic Avenger, Matt & Kim) as well as party-planning, mixtapes and whatever else the kids are dig-dug'd about in Cali.

Fuck Yes.

Wednesday, July 2, 2008

The Pill Mix., Vol. 2

Nothing says "Celebrate Independence Day" like hosting a Britpop night, but that's what we at the the pill shall do come Friday.

But we're upping the stakes and handing out "The Pill Mix., Vol. 2," to the first 150 who roll up. Good times.

Does It Offend You Yeah presale

Tickets to Does It Offend You Yeah?'s Aug. 31 show at GS go on sale tomorrow, but you, dear readers, can score tix through this exclusive presale. Enter "offend" into the code box and you're golden. Many tickets have already been sold. Also, I am DJing this. Will. Rule.

Grand Slam Movie Series

Cool shizz at the IMAX Theatre at the Aquarium, as the next seven Thursday nights will feature some of the best baseball movies, but leaves out Bull Durham. What gives? But between this, the Red Sox pennant drive and the Museum of SCience's "Baseball as America" exhibit, Boston is truly Baseball City USA.

Also in today's column: Boy George cancels his tour, and Shamrock Idol goes summertime.