My parents are in a Tampa Bay Rays rap video

Mom shows up around :32, and Pops makes his cameo at :38, almost getting knocked out by "Cristol." I'm speechless.

Historic Weekend 2k8

I am moving this weekend. Again. Fourth time in four years. My new apartment, down the street on scenic Cambridge Street in ARC, will be a half-disco, half-dwelling, and I'm stoked as fuck to have an entire apartment to myself, the Fierce and Lolabear SB.

So as if I didn't have enough on my mind this weekend, there's about eight billion things going on around Boston.

Friday: Dance party at the pill. You may have heard if it.
Saturday: Biggest part of the summer at Marina Bay Beach Club -- Armand Van Helden, Junior Sanchez, Hot Pink Delorean, Hearthrob DJ crew, Soul Clap. Damn.
Sunday: Does It Offend You Yeah? at Great Scott, with me opening shit up.
Monday: I want to catch DFA's the Juan MacLean at Mid-Easy, though I doubt I will.
Tuesday: Madfuck LA electro duo Guns N Bombs at Middlesex, though I can't find a listing for it other than their own page. Huh.

Of course, all this shit was detailed in today's Boston Herald Hotline, which also talks about tonight's Julesy B. benefit at the Mid-Easy.

See you in September, when life, after roughly 17 months of hell, finally becomes awesome again. <3.

Bacon vodka

Jake's Dixie Roadhouse out of the hipster-yuppie burial ground known as Waltham has done some amazing things with bacon in recent years, but even I don't know if I can roll with this.

Bacon vodka.

Cocktails on the 'u include "Bloody pig," "Baconator Martini" and "Bacon - My Greasy Lover." Holy fuck, my heart just exploded from typing this. I wasn't a fan of the chocolate bacon I got about a year ago, andcan not imagine how these two favorites of mine will jive. Road trip to Jake's anyone?

BM Linx "Kids on Fire" video

BM LINX just released the video for lead single "Kids On Fire." This song absolutely kills, and the Sept. 26 show at the pill should be a motherfucker. The album Black Entertainment hits in November, but the trio is doing a preview party/show at NYC's Mercury Lounge on Sept. 9.

ITP: B Side update, style cal

Today's Hotline confirms the rumors of the B-Side Lounge cocktail conversion to a beer bar, and hypes the Motion Sick's Giambi-approved 'Stache Wednesday party at Church and the Walkmen raising mad loot for cancer hospitals through album downloads.

The Style Calendar is worth reading if only for the "Whitey Buldging" headline on the RRB White Party 2.

Free Show: 46 days notice

So "Free Admission" is the new $5 cover, and O'Brien's is the new something. Well, it will be. My boys Run Run Run from Los Angeles needed a show, so instead of having them play at 8pm at Johnny D's in Slummerville I bought out O'Brien's Pub to host a free show and dance party. Get crunked.

B-Side Lounge closing?

Here comes another reason to never cross the Charles -- according to the jibber-jabber on Chowhound, the B-Side Lounge in Cambridge is closing. Thank God Ben Affleck and J-Lo aren't together anymore, or this would be front page news.

Regardless, it's a bumer, as the retro cocktail dive was a cool joint for the sophisticated hipster. Word is the owners of West Mass.'s Moan & Dove and Dirty Truth bars are taking over in just a few weeks, and implementing more of a Deep Ellum / Publick House snooty beer-bar type place. Say-lah...

I Love Money: 12 Pack RIP

So not only did VH1 renege on their promise for BACK TO BACK episodes of I<3$ last night, but the new episode they *did* show turned out to be 12 Pack's last stand. WTF City.

Come on Toastee, how could you? Whiteboy ain'cho frien! Megan won't get you past the online beaver shot level of the porn community. Devastating. I had my boy 12 Pack tagged to win the whole thing, and now my world is shattered. I'm on the phone right now with the Party Boys' management about throwing a cougar dance party at O'Brien's around Christmastime, around when I should be over not getting to see my secret boyfriend on TV every Sunday night.

I watched last night's episode twice, and I can't think of anything else to talk about other than 12 Pack's exit. Whiteboy had to go. God dammit.

**EDIT: wait a second, does he have star tattoos around his nips? Uhhhh.... well, it should be noted that that pic was found on jockohomo.com

In the Papers, Aug. 21 edition

As I pick up my shattered ego from witnessing the Faint at the Roxy last night (Decent enough new album, didn't do anything for me live; but they played "Glass Dance" as the opener which was awesome, and allowed me to leave after seven songs and four $9 drinks later). From today's Boston Herald:

- The lovely and talented Miss Jordan Valentine has swapped Sinners for Saints as the former World's Greatest Sinners front woman has a new bag, Jordan Valentine & the Sunday Saints. Playing the Plough for free this Saturday.


- Other Cheap Weekend Thrills include fantasy football draft party at Game On, Allston squirt gun fight this Saturday and the August Moon fest in Quincy.

- Style Calendar: Ladies Luxury at the Marina Bay Beach Club; running of the brides and other random fashion notes for the week.

New Morrissey album cover?

We all know that Morrissey's new album, "Years of Refusal," will be delayed until Feb. 2. But rumors are floating that this photo will serve as cover art:

I kinda dig it. Mozzer lookin' spry.

Lesson of the Day

-- Don't go windsurfing as a hurricane approaches...

Hang the Label: Another Smiths comp on the way

Make room on those dusty CD shelves for yet another Smiths 'best of', titled 'Hang the DJ,' set for release in November. For those scoring at home, this is the seventh Smiths compilation (if you include shit like 'Hatful of Hollow,' which I do). Not a bad haul for a band with just FOUR studio albums.

Naturally, Morrissey didn't sign off on it, and is pleading with folks to not buy the comp nor his "Live at the Hollywood Bowl" DVD. Said Mozzer about the Warner Bros.-released DVD:

“It is the work of cash-hounds, and I urge people not to buy it,” Moz said. “No royalties from this DVD will come to me. Please spend your money elsewhere.”

As he sang in "Paint a Vulgar Picture" way back when: "Reissue, repackage! Re-evaluate the songs, double-pack with a photograph."

(Oh, and despite what my Herald article says, I know that "Hang the DJ" is the lyric taken from "Panic." For some reason, it was changed in the editing process to say that "Year of Refusal" was a lyric from "Panic." Who doesn't know that "Hang the DJ" is from "Panic"? Herald editors.)

I <3 $ :::: Rodeo goes mental

“That’s why I wear my hat. That’s why the kids love me.”

Well, Rodeo, the kids might love you because you love rock and you love country, but America loves you because you went batshit insane last night on another epic episode of VH1's TV version of crystal meth, “I Love Money.”

In one action-packed sixty minutes, Rodeo not only busted out a bedazzled bandana with her named sparking bright, she also baked 12 Pack a cake for his birthday, ran off to pet a wild horse, had a legit conversation with a chihuahua, morphed into the Incredible Hulk, got pwned by Megan (who hasn’t owned anything other than cock, ever) and revealed she lost all her savings on a mutually exclusive clothing line and barbecue sauce. Wow. Just, wow.

We love you Rodeo, just like we love our children in Los Angeles. You and your unmistakable cackle will be missed.

This is unquestionably the greatest show in the history of television.

FNX Sunday night play list

Hang the DJ, hang the DJ, hang the DJ... here’s the set list from last night’s obscenity-free stint on FNX radio (thanks to Paul Driscoll for the invite):

New England Product:
Wild Light – “New Year’s Eve”
Protokoll – “Holy Divine”
Mean Creek – “Hands Behind Our Heads”
The Fatal Flaw – “When We Were Friends”
The Lights Out – “Never Going Back”
Amanda Palmer – “Leeds United”
Passion Pit – “Cuddle Fuddle”
The Sun Lee Sunbeam – “Bedhead”
Hiss & Chambers – “Decay”
Freezepop – “Frontload (Single Mix)”
The Channels – “The Moon”

First Contact:
The Walkmen “In The New Year”
BM LINX – “Kids On Fire”
The Stills – “Being Here”
The Rapture – “No Sex For Ben”
The Wombats – “Kill The Director (CSS Remix)”
Paul Weller – “Echoes Around The Sun”
The Toxic Avenger – “Bad Girls Need Love Too”
Uffie – “Robot Oeuf”
The Verve – “Judas”
The Enemy – “You’re Not Alone”
Oasis – “Falling Down (Album Version)”
Oasis – “The Shock of the Lightning”

Radio Vanya :: Sunday night on FNX

So I'm joining Driscoll 3000 for a guest spot on FNX Radio, that's 101.7 FM on your dial, Sunday night starting at 10pm! How did I finagle this shit? The rundown:

10pm: New England Product -- I'm playing some of my fav new local shit, from Passion Pit to the Sun Lee Sunbeam to the Fatal Flaw to the Secret Sea... as well as some older jams, perhaps an old school Info or Cancer to the Stars track, as well as the usual this and that.

11pm: First Contact -- The best in new music: BM Linx to the Verve to Foxglove Hunt to the Toxic Avenger to Uffie to Oasis...

Tune in, drop out, this is radio vanya...

Showcase Live

I ain't gonna lie, going down to Foxborough to see Girl Talk and the Death Set (Nov. 14) in some swank-ass suburban music venue won't be on my list of to-do items anytime soon.

But if I was married, in my 40s and liked shit like Al Green, Peter Frampton and Al Jarreau, I would be all the fuck over Showcase Live, the new Patriot Place venue that opens tomorrow. Essentially, this is the Paradise with a hardcore Vegas makeover. The more youthful shows won't work at all here, but this could be a goldmine for sheltered adults gettin' a sitta' for the rare night out.

new pill flyer postcards

A different beast than the calendar (poster) flyers, these are printed on double-sided glossy postcards and distributed around the city. Be on the lookout, 'cause, well, I know you always are.

Burger King employee bathes in sink

Here I am bitching and moaning about Dadagers when meanwhile, a Burger King employee in Ohio takes a bath in the kitchen sink. The King must be thrilled. Now, I would suspect this kind of thing at the Allston BK, but I'm sure none of those fuckers have ever taken a bath.

In the end, I know what you're thinking: Will this affect my desire to try that new Cheesy Bacon Tendercrisp? Answer: No. But do I have a new opinion on that yellowish, kinda spicy, once-yummy BK Stacker sauce? Answer: Yes.

Advice of the Day

So... if you're a young, newish band getting some buzz, garnering some good press and ready to head out on tour, please please please, for the LOVE OF GOD, don't take a band member's father out as tour manager.

Yes, I'm looking at you, Natalie Portman's Shaved Head. Awesome kids, awesome band, unfortunate parental supervision 3,000 miles away from home. "Dadagers" just don't help anything.

Walkmen: "You & Me" & Charity

Call me a cranky old man, but I really didn't care if we didn't hear from the Walkmen again after I spent much of 2004 (or whatever year it was) listening to "The Rat." I loved that seemingly-endless song, but little else.

But now I'm aboard the whole Walkmen parade again, as they've taken the whole loose-cost online album marketing trend to new, altruistic heights: The Walkmen's new album, "You & Me," is available for online download for $5, with all proceeds going to a NYC cancer hospital in the name of a sick 6-month-old infant.

Talk about guilt-tripping illegal downloaders. Pretty cool shit, gents.

No Stone Roses reunion? Shocking!

Everyone from the Police to the Verve have reunited in recent years, but don’t expect the legendary British indie band the Stone Roses to reform any time soon.
In a interview with Reuters last week, former Roses front man and current solo artist Ian Brown said there is “no chance” of a reunion of the band that disbanded in the mid-‘90s after redefining British indie almost two decades ago.

“Not in the next three lifetimes,” Brown told the press.

Translation: Bet on a Stone Roses reunion by 2010, as a headlining appearance at a cash-cow UK festival like Reading. Hey, everyone’s got bills to pay, and everyone stopped buying "Second Coming" three weeks after its release.

Natalie Portman's Shaved Head live @ the pill 08.08.08

So, you might have heard, but Natalie Portman's Shaved Head will swing by the pill tonight, playing our party on their off night from the Go Team/CSS tour. As I mentioned in the mailing list, NPSH gives us that tingly sensation we all felt when watching The Professional back in the day, but without the creepy feeling we all got from wanting to sex up a 12-year-old. This is Seattle electro-pop at it's finest, folks.

Luke O'Neil hyped the show up in today's Globe with a great feature: A sound that's turning Heads.

Don't resist. This shit should be bonkers.

Banditos Misteriosos

Chillaxin on the Herald's Weekend A&E cover today with a cool feature on Banditos Misteriosos, the semi-covert organization that throws huge, several-hundred-people events like a Copley Square Pillow Fight, Silent Dance Party at Fanueil Hall and a Scavenger Hunt on Boston Common. BostonSOS is alsomentioned, but the focus is on the Banditos crew. It's all word-of-mouth, it's all-inclusive, and it's always free.



The Banditos next event is a Revoluntionary War Water Gun Battle, with location to be revealed sometime next week through Yelp, CRaigslist, and their own mailer. Sign up here. These kids rule. Also included in the spread are sidebars on Renegade Drive In and the rise of Iron Chef Louie's Supper Clubs. Both have events coming up in August.

STORY OF THE YEAR

Now, I write about some meangingless effen shit from time to time (Ok, slightly more often than that), but really, this takes the tavecake as the most redonkulous news story ever: Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson: Matching Hats!

Rock of Love 3 auditions this weekend!!!

I tried to convince Brigid, but she would not go. I would give my girl to Bret Michaels, but only for a shot at love. Wonder how many ladies are going to the Rock of Love Bus open auditions, this weekend in New York.

Also in today's Herald: The Wilbur Theatre finally sorts out its handicap issues, and is hosting concerts. Though my friend Jennifer S. went to Duffy last night and said the 94-year-old building was "awkward." Tonight, yesterday's snooze duo Gnarles Barkley plays, but will surely be upstaged by modern disco-revivalists Hercules & Love Affair, whose jam "Blind" is one of the acest tracks of the Summer of Love 2008.

"Garfield minus Garfield" gets a book deal

I find it kind of amazing that the six-month-old Garfield Minus Garfield comic strip is not only getting a book deal, but that original Garfield creator Jim Davis has endorsed and praised the doctored and altered versions of his comic strip. How cool is that? No lawsuit? No bitter distribe about the Intranets and those pesky bloggings? Oh lordie.

“I think it’s an inspired thing to do,” Davis said in a press release. “I want to thank Dan (Walsh) for enabling me to see another side of ‘Garfield.’ Some strips he chose were slappers: ‘Oh, I could have left that out, it would have been funnier.’”

Oh, and "New York goes to Hollywood" might be the worst show I've ever seen.

Great debate on a Monday

Back from Vermont, refreshed and relieved, but faced with an immediate quandry my first night back: Do I go see Vivian Girls at Great Scott tonight and see what the fuss is about, or do I stay in and catch my girl Tiffany on the premiere of New York Goes to Hollywood?

These decisions could cripple any man. Or I could just sell out and go to that new techno night at Middlesex. Oh, and C-U-L8r, Destiney.

New pill flyer featuring Lindsey Starr (Aug.-Sept.)

A new month, a new season (uh), a new pill flyer. Shot last night in the grimey depths of Lower Allston, and featuring the legendary miss Lindsey Starr of Barnicle. The calendar takes us up to October, when the pill turns 11 years old. Look sharp.