Is this (take out order) made just for two?

It’s been an interesting and mildly fun past few days – frustrating car troubles late Friday, a redonkulous night at the pill (another sellout, eighth in nine weeks), a kickass draft in Orkney Road, good times seeing Zach Info’s new band Saturday night at TTs, and a quiet day around Harvard Sq. yesterday.

But clearly the highlight of the weekend came late last night after meeting BTF at her place of employment out in lovely and scenic Acton, Mass. Before heading home to watch that smug cunt Megan get tossed from Rock of Love II, we hit up some dingy-assed Chinese Restaurant that is so ghetto-fab it’s not only open late on Sundays, but Easter as well. Pork Friend Rice is my resurrection.

So we egg-roll up at the aptly-named Makaha, and chill in the bar-lounge that hasn’t been remodeled since the late ‘70s. As I was about to find out, the corner jukebox shares a similar grip on the moderately distant past.

I promptly began sucking down on an electric lemonade (but in a manly way as to not offend Joe Townie watching hoops at the bar) and waited for our traditional round-eye order or chicken fingers, wings and spareribs. Soon, a 30-something townie couple saunters in to the lounge and finds a place at the bar. After ordering what was no doubt an Easter-themed scorpion bowl for a deuce, they quickly made a beeline to the jukebox. I almost expected the girl to flick in a nickel, jab the beastly machine with her elbow and crack open a bottle of coke.

But what she did next astounded me. Of all the songs one expects to hear in 2008, regardless if I were in a time-warped New England suburb or not, I was not ready. I was not prepared to hear, out of nowhere… Tesla’s “Love Song.”


Ok, hold on. Who the fuck puts on Tesla from a jukebox in 2008? What jukebox still has the “Great Fucking Radio Controversy” in its collection? Did it flip the vinyl and play a 45? Was it actually on that “medium of the future,” the vaunted compact disc? Was there a “Nice Price” sticker on the CD sleeve? What kind of Twilight Zone shit was I dealing with here? And will this woman be offended once I start belting out the chorus? Would the townie guy kick my ass? Is Jeff Keith actually in the back making my Appetizer Combo Number 5?

My mind raced so fast I forgot how absurd that minute-long guitar solo intro was.


Now, don’t get me wrong – This song rules. And in fact, I made a point to hear it live when I saw Tesla at the Station Nightclub Benefit (I was on the clock, natch) in Providence last month. It was a fulfilling experience, and much better than anything Winger, Twisted Sister or the dude from Mr. Big brought that night (Michael Sweet singing Boston’s “Piece of Mind” with Gary Pihl and Todd Sholz was tops, though).

But of all the shit I was expecting to hear, that just wasn’t on my radar. As the song goes, “Love will find a way.” I thought that love was knocking, outside my door, waiting for you, with a love made just for two… but that was just my takeout order.

And when we hightailed it home to watch the leather-boot face of Bret Michaels send the most annoying reality show whore packing, I realized the joke was on me, and the late ‘80s will never ever go away.

Now if only Cinderella’s Tom Kiefer was the cop who pulled me over on the way home…