A Vanyaland quiz for NHL Trade Deadline Day: Hockey Prospect or Female Porn Star?

In honor of today’s NHL Trade Deadline, I’m resurrecting one of my favorite non-music Vanyaland features -– ladies and germs, I welcome you to the 2013 Hockey Prospect or Female Porn Star quiz! Below are 20 entries, and you are asked to determine whether the name listed represents a current hockey prospect toiling in the minors across Canada and the US, or a lusty porn actress currently toiling in and around Los Angeles.

(Handy Hint: There are 20 names, so it breaks down to 10 prospects and 10 porn stars. Hint #2: Despite there being many cocks on the New York Rangers, Carmen Cocks is not one of them.)

As an added treat, we have expanded the field for a first-ever Bonus Round: a Male Edition, down below.

Note: A perfect score would be a 26, in honor of the great Patrik Elias. Answer key down below.

NHL PROSPECT OR PORN STAR?

1. Reece Scarlett

2. Riley Reid

3. Morgan Rielly

4. Riley Boychuk

5. Hunter Bryce

6. Devon Lee

7. Chase Balisy

8. Jayden Cole

9. Harri Pesonen

10. Dylan Rider

11. Cody Lane

12. Robin Lehner

13. Jamie Devane

14. Brook Little

15. Linden Vey

16. Kale Kressy

17. Bailey Blue

18. Carmen Cocks

19. Mika Tan

20. Calle Jarnkrok

BONUS ROUND: MALE EDITION

1. Zach Hyman

2. Evan Stone

3. Steven St Croix

4. Rocco Grimaldi

5. Brock Beukeboom

6. Long Dong Silver

***

***

ANSWER KEY:

1.NHL; 2. Porn; 3. NHL; 4. NHL; 5. Porn; 6. Porn; 7. NHL; 8. Porn; 9. NHL; 10.Porn; 11. Porn; 12. NHL; 13: NHL; 14: Porn; 15: NHL; 16. NHL; 17. Porn; 18. Porn; 19. Porn; 20. NHL

BONUS ROUND: 1. NHL; 2. Porn; 3. Porn; 4. NHL; 5. NHL; 6. Porn

MIA on Letterman

MIA was "whoring" herself out on Late Show with David Letterman last night (her word), bringing a bunch of hey-didn't-Eminem-do-this doppelgangers on stage with her to perform "Born Free." But oooohhhhhhh shit, she also got Suicide's Martin Rev on synths, and really, the best part of this performance is Rev turning his back of Ol Dave at the end. Born free, yo.

Super fast Jedi nina cat

A Padawan no longer...

AT-AT Day Afternoon

Well isn't this the most adorable thing I've seen since the kitty-kat World Cup video... Look at that guy go go go

Kitten in tiny hat gets smacked up

Well, this is no doubt the best thing on the Internet today.

See more funny videos and Cute Animals Videos at Today's Big Thing.

I-95 shuffle: NY and Boston

Back from a New York coma -- from visiting my old Bay Shore neighborhood for the first time in 6 years to having @MsMatchGirl try to convince me why Brooklyn is cool ( not buying it, never will). Awesome weekend, now back to the grind.

Perhaps there will be an announcement or two in the next week regarding my future.

BK Vegan: Pete Doherty in NYC tonight?

Awesome find by those Brooklyn Vegan peeps, who just posted a flyer advertising a Pete Doherty gig tonight in NYC. Yowza. I wanna goooooooooooo...

VIDEO: A.R.E. Weapons 'Darker Blue Triolgy'

Oh christ all-freaking-mighty ARE Weapons are back, and they've gone... rockabilly? Sigh. I don't know why I'm even posting this. I want to go home.

Fuck You Pay Me 2010.

A.R.E. WEAPONS - DARKER BLUE TRILOGY - WHAT THE FUCK / SUBWAY / DE-EDUCATOR from Tim Barber on Vimeo.

Sink hole in Guatemala

This isn't your typical Vanyaland post, but OH MY FUCKING GOD that building just disappeared into the Earth. More proof that End Times are here... though it kinda makes me reminisce about some of my former lovers...

Happy birthday, Carl Lavin

The Man Who Saved Great Scott celebrates 40 years of life tomorrow (Mass Pike hint: a roadside mileage chart just outside Boston heading West has destination mile-counts as 5 31 70). We'll be down at GS doing a roast in his honor, around 9 p.m. this evening, because why the fuck not. I may have hired belly dancers.

Mad love, Carl.

Uniform party tomorrow evening w DJ Ken

Uniform in the South End is having another sale party, and today's the deadline to RSVP (by emailing gary@uniformboston.com). DJ Ken of pill fame spins the hits, and I've been known to jump behind the warm glow of the laptop to serenade the shoppers with a healthy serving of girl-pop and glitter-disco. Further deets after the flyer jump...


Most Awesome Friends of Uniform,

The warm weather has arrived in full force, and so have our new summer fashions. For the past five years Original Penguin has been our strongest ally in keeping your wardrobe hip-and they're doing it once again.

Don't forget, this Thursday, May 27th, from 6-9pm, chill out with Penguin and receive 20% off all Spring / Summer goods. The party wouldn't be complete without some cold beers from Victory Brewing Company and cool tunes from DJ Ken of the Pill.

Don't be left out in the heat, RSVP to gary@uniformboston.com today.

Predators? Oh snap, Predators!

Holy shit there is a new "Predator" movie! WOWZA!!! It's called a "reinvention" of the series, which is fine as long as the fish-net wearing aliens are back in full force. This looks D O P E. I've thoroughly enjoyed the "Predator" movies, even the one where the baby-blue runs around Manhattan or some shit. And the AVP series wasn't terrible.

Oh hey, Topher Grace is in this.

'The Human Centipede' arcade game!!!!

An increasingly rare Hotline repost: Celebrating the greatest phenomenon of 2010 that does not involve dead washed-up rock stars, a bread-less fast-food chicken sandwich or the ability to play a 30-year-old video game on the Google home page, someone actually made a shooting game for the instantly-legendary Tom Six cult horror film "The Human Centipede." Yes, it's kinda based off the old "Centipede" arcade game, and clearly we're still months away from a game where you have to stitch people together ass-to-mouth. Can you be 100% medically accurate in three lives or less? Before we find out, lets shoot 'em up...

Ladies and germs, fire away at that pesky 'Pede. (Hat tip to Zack)

Calling all ugly girls: Actress Wanted

Not that I know any busted-ass ladies, because all my girls be beautiful. But hey, if you're a cut-up ugly broad and you wanna be in film, this could be your big break:

WANTED- Ugly Actress Lead for Short Film -no expereince necessary (Brookline)
Date: 2010-05-24, 1:04PM EDT
Reply to: gigs-mgtwn-1757006502@craigslist.org

You want to act, and am tired of your dream role going to the pretty girl? Not anymore! We are looking for physically unattractive woman age (any age) to be in a short comedic film. Please send photos.

Thanks
* Location: Brookline
* it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
* Compensation: no pay

Nike's new World Cup ad

Well, this is a fairly intense three minutes. This epic sports commercial even features cameos by Roger Federer, Kobe Bryant and Homer Simpson, and good lordy I can't effing wait for the World Cup next month.

Sunday: JP vinyl yard sale & record swap

More on this in tomorrow's Cheap Thrills column, but Kaylay and I are likely to hit this shit up and it's worthy of an extra day of promotion. A spring Sunday in Boston spent outside digging through dollar crates? Sign me up, JP Vinyl Yard Sale & Record Swap. Maybe I'll find that Suede "Be My God" 12-inch I've been looking for since I was 15.

Tonight: 'Rebel Without A Cause' at Coolidge

There's a ton of shit going on tonight, from Buzzcocks at the Dise to Hooray For Earth at Middlesex to scraping dead parents of BU graduates off Commonwealth Avenue. But down 'round Brookline the Coolidge is showing "Rebel Without a Cause," James Dean's 1955 classic that more than half a century later is still the standard for Male CoolTM. I had my Dean phase somewhere around senior year of high school, and I'd still tear him up either ways to Sunday. Still and forever the coolest dude to walk this Earth.


Big Screen Classics: REBEL WITHOUT A CAUSE
Mon, May 17 @ 7:00 pm $9.75

"You're tearing me apart!"

The summit of juvenile delinquent stories, Rebel Without a Cause cemented James Dean as a star; though his untimely death four weeks before the film's premiere prevented him from seeing the final product.

Dean stars as Jim Stark, the new kid in town and already he's in with a bad crowd. His love interest Judy (Natalie Wood) and "close friend" Plato (Sal Mineo) are hiding out from the cops and trying to stay one step ahead of the local goons. Romance, fast cars, real switchblade fights, and Dennis Hopper...could you ask for anything more?

dir. Nicholas Ray, w/ James Dean, Natalie Wood, Sal Mineo, 1h51m

Trailer for Lennon biopic 'Nowhere Boy'

Never been a huge Beatles fan, and often just to be difficult I'm fairly vocal that I really don't care for them. Just never found them that interesting, despite a healthy respect and acknowledgment in history, and I've never, ever put anything of theirs on my own stereo/radio/iPod/whatever. This John Lennon biopic "Nowhere Boy," however, looks pretty cool, because the story is intriguing.

Found it posted on the spin.com site, fwiw.

Happy Mother's Day

If you want to find hell with me, Mom, I can show you what it's like...

Simpsons intro Ke$ha's "TiK Tok"

Anyone who knows me knows there are few things I hate more than the Simpsons -- and maybe only beer, coffee and the theme song to Family Guy makes the list. However, I have a very strange obsession with Ke$ha, so naturally I'm torn when I saw this. God damn I hate the Simpsons, yet I still yearn for the day when this god damn song isn't stuck in my head at some point.