I Love Money premieres tonight!

I don't think I've actually written about it yet, but I've been counting down the days to the debut of the Reality Elimination Show To End All Reality Elimination Shows, VH-1's instant classic and pure Turkish Vanya black tar heroin, "I Love Money."

It's an narcisistic all-star game featuring the biggest train-wrecks from multiple seasons of "I Love New York", "Flavor of Love" and "Rock of Love". (Yo Tango and Lacey, where you at?!?).

Seriously, this shit was made for me and the Queen, and expect Vanyaland to morph into a running "I Love Money" commentary for the next twelve weeks. I've caught the premiere, where the 16 contestants create teams kickball-playground style and start the endless insanity. This shit will be worth the hype, and it's even more appealing if you know these characters from the previous shows.

VH1 did a great job bringing the best personalities back to the camera, but I don't think it took much prompting. Shit, they even brought Frank the Entertainer back! (Uh, peep upper right! Hide yo' toes!)

Mr. Boston, Brandi C., Real, Chance, Whiteboy... They're all back. Even Rodeo has returned, and you know, "I like rock. I like country. That's why I wear my hat. that's why kids love me." Yup, they brought her back for the children. Bret's children. Everyone's children.

Who will walk away with $250,000? My prediction is my boy 12 Pack, the more-than-meets-the-eye gay-tease beefcake of "I<3NY," or maybe even Hoops, the winner of "FoL" and only one of these misfits to actually win the original show s/he appeared on. As much as I adore Toastee from Flav, I don't think she's got the goodz. But even if 12 Pack doesn't win, apparently he tags both Heather RoL and the skankalicious Megan RoL2 during the competition. If only a quater-of-a-mil cured herpes.

9pm tonight, VH1. Casting special at 8. Life begins once again...