House of Blues coming in February

Never thought I'd say I miss Avalon and Axis, but we'll be reminiscing hard about those two Lansdowne clubs once the House of Blues abortion goes operational in February. It's amazing how difficult it is to get answers out of Live Nation, but there you have it. Can anyone envision actually going to a show here? Boston gets more cookie-cutter by the day...

Janet Jax all sick and shit

So Janet Jackson cancelled her Boston show tomorrow night.

Why does Vanyaland give a shit? Because around 2pm it was the 6th most read item on bostonherald.com (a rare accomplishment for our A&E section, and more impressive with the economy, political and Red Sox news dominating the day) and we get to see all the reader comments yelling at me because this "isn't news." Sweet.

the pill turns 11 years old 10.03

Fucking insane, huh? We like to joke that we set up shop when Britpop was still around, and it's true. The Pill has taken many shapes and forms across six different venues, but one thing remained the same: indie dance party on a Friday night. "Look sharp."

*** From thepillboston.com:

Where were you on Oct. 3, 1997? Out buying the Verve’s “Urban Hymns”? Thinking Brett Anderson didn’t need Bernard Butler after all? Figuring the Manics’ Ritchey James would show up any day now? Scoring high on that Earth Science exam? Getting wet for Jarvis Cocker at the Brit Awards? Enjoying the sixth fucking grade?

Wherever you were, DJ Ken and former pill DJ Jennifer Sullivan were down in North Station hosting the first-ever night of the pill. Nightlife in Boston would never be the same.

Catering to everyone from black-clad underage Emerson kids to seasoned Vespa-savvy Allston mods, the pill would soon become a Boston staple with a soundtrack that mirrored the city’s across-the-pond mindset: from Britpop to 60s to indie to soul, the pill was where it’s at.

And so with the rare exception of a few head-loss Fridays around 2003, the pill has been there every Friday night since (cheers to Carl Lavin). From the foundation years at the Upstairs Lounge to the jet-setting times at the Hideaway, Milky Way, Paradise and Ekco Lounges and finally, to our current home at Great Scott in Allston, there was always one thing to count on every Friday night in Boston: the pill.

Whether you’ve danced with us, performed for us, took us home, came home with us, got listed, got sorted, looked sharp, raised a pint, got it together and lost it all shortly thereafter or lost it first and then pieced it back together, this one’s for you. We are truly indebted to all who show up each week.

This is Boston. 11 years strong. xo the pill.

MIA /// In the Paperz

So yeah, I've been MIA lately. Trying to figure out what to do next in life. I'm making a point to prove to F. Scott Fitzgerald that there are, in fact, such a thing as second acts in American lives... Eat it, Gatsby.

***
Meanwhile, in today's Boston Herald column: Stone Gossard wants fans to plant trees, and Bret Easton Ellis' "American Psycho" will be made into a musical.

Can't believe I was able to write "Plant trees and get Stone'd for free."

Daisy gets her own show (!!!!!!)

Astrochicks is reporting that Daisy from Rock of Love has her own show coming up on VH1. Makes sense since she's not on Charm School, and has already banged most of Hollywood's wash-ups.

The show will be called "I LOVE DAISY," and feature 25 aspiring sexy doctors who not only have to win her vagina, but diagnose it as well. Honestly, I'm excited. I mean, just look at this:

To quote the judge from I Wanna Work for Diddy: "Your party was whack. You threw a whack party."

To quote Stacey from Tabatha's Salon Takeover: "She's making a mockery out of Images."

Seriously.

Jupiter One on "Heroes"

NYC's Jupiter One, who played the pill lastyear and has a catchy-as-fuck jam called "Countdown," will have said jam played during Monday's season-premiere of NBC's Heroes. Now I have a reason to watch other than Ali Larter. Cool.

In the Papers: Low Vs Diamond

From the "Next Big Thing" file: GO: LOW VS. DIAMOND AT THE PARADISE

"You know these are fast times when the Next Big Thing no one knows about is opening for the Next Big Thing already on everyone’s radar. So if you’re planning to check out Brooklyn’s intrepid genre-bender Santogold tomorrow at the Paradise, make sure to arrive early to see Low vs. Diamond, a Los Angeles quintet we predict will be one of 2009’s biggest new rock acts. With a stadium-sized sound that echoes U2 and the Killers, mainstream success seems inevitable. Don’t be surprised to see Santogold opening for these stylish cats at a larger venue this time next year." Tickets: $22. Call 617-562-8800. - MICHAEL V.

Note: I've been playing "Heart Attack" during bedroom sets at the pill, though it might be a bit too mainstream. But the name comes from the tag the band gave the fights the singer (last name Diamond) would have with his ex, Leyla "Lo" Safai from Heartsrevolution.

the pill's 6th annual Halloween Show

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, here's the first official announcement of the lineup for the pill's 6th annual Halloween Show, taking place Friday, Oct. 31 at Great Scott. This year, we bring you:

The Wonderful Spells as THE KINKS

The Sun Lee Sunbeam as ELASTICA

The Perennials as THE STROKES

As always, the Halloween shows feature bands that have played the pill within the past year or so. The past five Halloween shows (3 at Great Scott, one at the Mid East Down and first at the Paradise Lounge), looked like this:

The Daily Pravda as David Bowie (07)
Mako as the Stone Roses (07)
The Perennials as the Libertines (07)
The Lie Society as Blur (07)
Lifestyle as New Order (06)
The Daily Pravda as Suede (06)
The 8mm Fuzz as Echo & the Bunnymen (06)
Emergency Music as the Velvet Underground (05)
Protokoll as Bauhaus (05)
The Chainletter as Joy Division
The Never Never as Supergrass (05)
The Bon Savants as Pulp (04)
The Information as Depeche Mode (04)
Emergency Music as Blur (04)
The Cignal as Primal Scream (04)
The Information as the Cure (03)
The Cignal as the Happy Mondays (03)

Ninja Cat

In my sad, pathetic and meaningless existence, this is the shit that makes me smile.

Rock of Love Girls: Charm School 2

How did I miss this? The skanks of Rock of Love are coming back to VH1 starting Oct. 12 in the second season of the get-priss/show-some-class reality competition show. They even dug up Rikki Rachtman, who must have been up to something since the original Headbanger's Ball was axed in like 1994.

Sharon Osbourne is the host, Rachtman is a "dean" (whatever the fuck that means) and the prize is $100,000 and the chance to star in the upcoming VH1 Classic series "Love'Z Not E-Nuff," starring Chip Z'Nuff from late 80s metal band Enuff Z'Nuff.


More importantly, I think there is an Angelique sighting... Too bad we can't tell if she's standing up straight or doing a hand stand. Also, sup Lacey, Dallas, Rodeo, Love Tank, Destiney and Megan, who clearly never met a camera she wouldn't let spooge on her face.

But to be fair, I'm still dying over Megan's comeback to Pumkin on the last I<3$ episode. Pumkin: "Just because you're taller doesn't make you the bigger woman," Megan: "You're clearly the bigger woman." Zing-o-ramaktrjhfi rhjgio hjifg

Best Week Ever :: Night time picks

I knew September would pick up the crazytown escapades. After seeing James on Sunday (as well as the Entertainer's exit from I<#$), I’m fairly beat city, but tonight I’ll be at the Dise to see Brooklyn avant-noise-pop trio A Place To Bury Strangers, certain to walk away with an ear ache. APTBS have come a long way since I saw them at GS a few years ago. There was a blizzard. There was Carl. There was like three others. Maybe even the December Sound.

I digress. Tomorrow, crazyasfuck Toronto electro house DJ DEADMAU5 is at Underbar, but I’m not sure if it’s worth the trip to the date-rapecentric downtown hotspot. But the dude sometimes wear a giant mouse head while spinning, so who I am to judge venues. This should be good; ladies, cover your drinx.

Then on Thursday it’s a two-places-for-one-faces thing with Hiss & Chambers and Sun Lee Sunbeam at the Middle East early on, then the Passion Pit EP release party at Great Scott. Friday is the pill, Santogold sexes up the Dise on Saturday, then Hot Pink Delorean fistfuck-remixes Great Scott on Sunday. Yowza!

Look shaaarrrrrrp

Never one to miss a promotional opportunity, we're celebrating International Talk Like A Pirate Day at the pill this week. What does that mean? Outside of a chance to make a goofy flyer, absolutely nothing.

RIP DFW

RIP David Foster Wallace. May your suicide note be in desperate need of "editing."

Friday thoughts: Oasis to James

So Oasis ain't playing NYC, but a bunch of street performers will play new 'Sis tunes today in Manhattan.

The next few days promise to be pretty ossum, as The Fatal Flaw play the pill tonight, there's another Circus electro party at Privus tomorrow, and then motherfucking JAMES is at the Dise come Sunday and Monday.

James. Live. On Sunday.

Few bands turn me into a schoolgirl like James, and the lady at home has been saddled with a conastant rotation of "Laid," Whiplash" and the singles collection since we moved in last week.

The last time I saw James was at Lollapalooza 1997, and they went on before Korn and Tool. I remember standing in a dirty field at Randall's Island, a part of the maybe 5% of the packed crowd who was there to see James. Surrounded by Korn fans yelling "faggot" (irony never lost, Mr.Davis), the band not so feverishly launched into "Out To Get You," perhaps the best James song ever written.

Afterwards, Tim Booth leans into the mic and says "We like to start off slow, so you expect the worst." Pure bliss followed, with much of the set comprised of "Whiplash" tracks and favs (Laid, Born of Frustration, Sit Down). I might have made out with Pete Lenz during the entire set, not much else is clear...

Something tells me this time will be even better. (Also coming up next week: A PLace To Bury Stangers at the Dise Tuesday, and Jiss & Chambers/Sun Lee Sunbeam at the Mid East Thursday, which is also the date of the Passion Pit EP release party at GS.)

Oasis cancel NY gig

Tough times for the 'Sis. First Jay-Z lyrically bitchslaps the boys, and now they cancel a New York gig after Noel was attacked on stage in the Great White North. Official word from Cornerstone:

"As a result of the incident on Oasis' Canadian tour, when Noel was attacked by a stage invader Oasis, are now being forced to announce that tomorrow night's show at Terminal 5, New York cannot go ahead as planned.

Noel fell heavily on to his monitor speakers when he was pushed suddenly from behind by his attacker and suffered bruising to his ribs and hip. Unfortunately, he still has not recovered from his injuries and so he will not be able to perform tomorrow.

All tickets can be refunded at point of purchase."

Hoopz a cover girl

I'm usually not all there when shopping at the 24-hour Tedeschi in Allston. Either drunk, altered, abused, tired, harassed, molested or whatever, I try to make these shopping trips as painless as possible.

So imagine my sur-fucking-prise when I peep the magazine racks and see none other than I<3$' contestant and inaugural "Flavor of Love" winner HOOPZ (OMFG booty altert booty alert do not click that link!!). Anyway, home girl is on the cover of something called King Magazine, looking all pizz-zam. King bills itself as the "illest magazine" around, and is not affiliated with the Los Angeles hockey team.

Does this cover piece mean she won I Love Money?!?!?! What's up with her romance with Real? What's up with that fitness dude back in Detroit? Is it really so cold in the D? Hoopz is a rapper? What's 12 Pack been up to? I need to know. Shit, I know where my next $4.99 is going...

(Also, FU to VH1 for skipping a week of I Love Money. Come on.)

Trauma, and the Dick Slide

I have a new desk in the newsroom, and I'm way the fuck out in the open and all sorts of vulnerable. Can't be having any more "sad days" in the corner. Thankfully, I have this here DICK SLIDE to entertain the Vanyaland masses when I'm too distraught to post.

I Sell Out: Vanya & Fluevog

So I sold out, entering a partnership with John Fluevog Shoes for some events coming up. The first is the (still) FREE show on Oct. 11 featuring Run Run Run, the Lie Society and yours truly on the wheels of steel. We'll see how this shakes out. But as someone already noted, at least it's not Miller Lite.

Collect those checks, son!

Sand timewaster

Thank me later.

HR & Weller: 2nite in Boston

Tonight is officialy Punk Legend Vocalist Night here in Boston. Down the street at Harper's Ferry, HR of Bad Brains throws shit down and praises Jah, while over at Berklee Performance Center, Paul Weller of the Jam does his own solo thing.

Two frontmen of two very influential early punk bands with looping ties to reggae, Bad Brains being one of the pioneers of hardcore punk in DC in the early 80s, and the Jam crystallizing the Mod scene in England a few years prior. I have not heard either dude's recent solo stuff, but I will celebrate their arrival to our Wet Metropolis by rocking "Banned in DC" and "All Mod Cons" throughout the day. I got into Bad Brains way before I appreciated the Jam, but that was just my aggressive high school attitude not being very Vanya.

Anyway, I can't actually go to the shows, you see. I need to hit up Target and get a shelving unit. Turns out I'm older than HR and Weller, and besides, tomorrow is the Wombats at TTs and Oppenheimer at Great Scott. The kids are united.

Abbey Lounge to close?

In the 1980s, Video killed the Radio Star
In the late 1990s, Internet killed the Video Star
And now in the 2000s, Video Games killed the Rock Club

“The actual numbers have been on the decline in the last few years because people aren’t supporting local live music like they used to,” said Abbey Lounge booking agent Mike Feudale. "People have more entertainment alternatives these days, like DJs and video games."

Add declining attendance with "five figure" debt left by previous ownership, and the Abbey Lounge in Inman Square is banking on a week of benefit shows to stay open. More details in my Herald column tomorrow.

No Heart for McCain

I hate politics, but you can add rockchix Heart to the list of musicians (Jackson Browne, Van Halen) asking Republicans to stop using their songs as rallying cries. The latest offense: the RNC last week blaring "Barracuda" for VP nominee Sarah Palin.

And that will be the last ever politically-related story on Vanyaland. Until I run for present of Bespin Could City, of course.

Suck City: Tom Brady

I've never concealed my bromantic love for Tom Brady, who could miss the remainer of the season after reportedly tearing the ACL in his knee yesterday against the KC Chiefs.

Seriously, WTF. Saddest shit ever. After last season (the most stressful undefeated campaign of all time, followed each week by the asterisks and cheating accusations, and culminating in a face-rape of a Super Bowl), this is the worst thing that could have happened. Screw Dante Culpepper, Sand Cassel and Chris Simms.

My boy will be ok, right? TELL ME MY BOY WILL BE OK. *sigh*

Blender: 2Pac overrated, weekend stuffff

In the October issue of Blender, the music magazine calls Tupac Shakur the most overrated musician of all time. Publicity stunt or legit claim? I dunno, the dead rapper has sold more than 75 million albums... but then again, I can't name one of his songs.

In other news, there's this thing going on next week called the Boston Music Festival, and I can't imagine anyone really cares.

And lastly, the guide to the weekend's Cheap Weekend Thills.

Now that I'm moved in and (almost) settled in, my cheap weekend thrills will include the pill tonight, and my favorite new dance night, Circus at Privus Lounge, on Saturday.

Bad summer trends, 2008

This ran in Monday's Herald, so I'm playing catchup... Yes, this actually ran. The parts that were edited out on the Copy Desk have been added back in, btw.

****
Bad trends define summer 2008
By Michael Marotta

In 1967 we had the Summer of Love. The Summer of Sam came in 1977. In 1984 there was Bananarama’s “Cruel Summer” and, well, not much happened in the ’90s. But the summer-to-remember vibe is alive and well in 2008, though it’s nothing to write home about.

This season we’ve been blessed by the Summer of Horribly Lame Trends. Here’s a recap:

Faux lesbianism
Thanks for the “I Kissed a Girl” hysteria, Katy Perry! Once we had LUGs (Lesbians Until Graduation) - now the world is saddled with LUFs (Lesbians Until Fall). Even Lindsay Lohan has hopped abord the L Train.

Celebrity DJs
Did we need to be subjected to Pete Wentz’s guest stint “spinning” at Foxwoods? Wasn’t the music the Fall Out Boy bassist created bad enough? Now he’s playing other people’s garbage for us? Sugar, we’re going down gagging.

Ironic mustaches
This summer everyone from Yankee slugger Jason Giambi to the smelly guy in that weird noise band from Montreal sported a ’stache. No wonder the girls opted to kiss other girls.

Leggings as pantsLadies, please, make this stop. Brighton Avenue in Allston looks like the Gaza Strip with all the camel toe in plain sight. Put on some real pants, Mrs. Donald Duck.

Ray-Ban sunglasses
Fellas, the drummer from the Ting Tings isn’t cool and Lil’ Wayne should know better. This needs to be stopped before Jay McInerney thinks he’s relevant again.

V-neck shirts
Really, we don’t need to see Mr. Aging Hipster’s furry chest carpet ordering shots at the bar. Wonder why there haven’t been many bed bug stories this summer? They’re nesting in exposed chest hair.

Ivy League indie rock
Right now, Vampire Weekend and Chester French are taking our hard-earned money with half-hearted indie songs. But you know that when their 15 minutes expire, they’ll become our bosses. Double-whammy bar, indeed.

Reality TV spin-offs
Tiffany “New York” Pollard didn’t need her own show (“New York Goes to Hollywood,” VH1). Neither did Brooke Hogan (“Brooke Knows Best,” VH1) or the insufferable Jo and Slade (“Date My Ex,” Bravo). It’s shocking that Artist from Animal Planet’s “Groomer Has It” doesn’t have his own show - yet.

iPhone mania
Where is everybody? Oh, right: They’re waiting in line at the Apple Store, hoping to get their iPhone working again with help from the “genius bar.” My genius bar pours me a Guinness, and the only upgrade I need is another round.

Fall into awesomeness

All moved into the new place (Palace de Possum, House of 1,000 Toes, Brichealtopia Kingdom), and the lady even allowed me to decorate the bathroom in a lightning bolt of burgundy madness. Ahhh, life is good again. Lola is getting used to shit, everything is clean as fuck, and the whole place has a sunny, breezy vibe to it. Approved.

And when my first bit of news today is Jezebel pointing out Miley Cyrus' new penis-shaped candy, you just know great things lie ahead...